Graditude for Attitude..

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, or say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day reguarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past..we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude..I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you...we are in charge of our Attitudes." ~Charles Swindoll.

We are learning about Attitude right now in Psych. After watching The Power of One, I felt so.....well I guess shocked? It was a realization to how my attitude can affect so much around me. Once I became "aware of being aware"---Busman---, I noticed how I treat others with my attitude. I can say demeaning things or act in a rude way, with out even thinking about. Not until people actually have the courage to tell me. Which I like. No you do not crush or ruin my life. It is good and for my own sake. I am one who is blunt about much, so I really do appreciate the feedback and kick in the pants when I need it. Maybe thats all too often?

I am always asking myself how to stay happi in all of the madness that goes around. I really struggle with being in a good mood when I want to be angry at the world. But I've found how to solve this. The Lord, Yoga Balls, Best Friends, Chocolate Milk (YES), Working Out, and Laughing. I suppose that is just the minimum of ways for me. I really don't like being upset, because I feel like I am bringing down all the others around me as well. A good Attitude really helps me stay in check. I find myself always pointing out the frailties and things going wrong, and so I ask my self WHY ME. But in the end these trials we face were meant to happen from the begining, and we've got to learn how to punch them in the face so we can become stronger. And I am reminded this every day, but it is still so difficult. I know I should be considering this through all, but I have a hard time realizing this is just a drop of rain in the long skeem of things. I also have a difficult time confessing certain situations, so I suppose I want to gain the courage to tell those things to the people that really do need to hear it at this time. I am just greatful for all those who are there to help and whom I can rely on. They will be ever blessed and I don't know how to repay for all that they do for me. I have just been really quite angry lately for many things combound, and I don't want these feelings suppressed any longer. SOOOOOOO....I AM GOING TO PROCLAIM IT TO THE WORLD. One of these days.

Anyways, HEY LADIES, do think it is okay to call a Man BE-A-UTIFUL? Because I seriously think I saw the most beautiful guy today. Handsome, Cute, nor Hawt were even allowed to consider this man. He was just soooo perfect. And gorgeous. But the only problem I had with seeing him is this: I probably will never see him again. Don't you just get so frusterated with these situations? I DO. I am very excited to visit BYU on Monday. Here is my plan: Go there, check out the school (The Men), find one that is a fresh boy. Then we will meet and hit it off well. He will then go on his misson and when he comes back I will so be at there waiting for him. Yeah is'nt that plan just great? I thought this through for a while, and I suppose it just might do. Well, maybe I will just find that he has a Beautiful Soul. Those are always the best as well. So I will let you know how it works.

I realized something Men. You are Incredible beings. You can make a lady so utterly happi. Then turn the whole thing upside down. I don't really know how you do it. It just seems so easy. Thats why I love friends. You can never go wrong that way. Although, "more than friends" are fun and can be beneficial. You must be ready. Otherwise the whole whatever it is, may just turn out a flop. So, don't start anything until maybe you know a bit more ;) Not going to lie. I love you. You are so intriguing and absolutley hilarious and fun fools. It great bliss when we talk and hang out, but not as classy as it should be. Therefore relationships can definatly be put off for later times when one is ready. I just wish I were able to be in control of a bit more, and knew this in adcanced so I could be prepared. That is That.

I am so ready to get out of here, for Spring Break. Rexburg here I come. I am so looking forward to seeing the babies and family. It's always adventure. And honestly, I am excited for the ride. We are taking two days to get down there for funnsies, but I really just love car rides. Well, sometimes. I don't want to contradict myself because I actually despise them. They are uncomfortable and I can't sleep. But I love being able to think, and look out the window at..well all there is, is nothing. But it is nice, and relaxing.

So, now This is This. "Choose your love, Love your choice" :)

My Ranting might Anger you...

*Chuck Norris knows a word that rhymes with orange. *When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet. The pool gets Chuck Norris. *Chuck Norris gets 4 stars on EVERY level of Angry Birds. Um, I have a question. WHO THE HECK EVEN IS CHUCH NORRIS? I hear about this guy daily as if he is a God or something. I don't even understand it. I thought he was just fake guy, and then i heard he was real...and what is up with these jokes? I just don't get it. This guy must be some power buff. I really wish people would not obsess over people or materials such as this. We are guided not to worship false idols. And yes, I understand that most of those who like him may not treat him like a God, or even go as far as being obsessed to say the least, but really it is in the subconcious and by wearing these shirts, telling the jokes, and just caring about such, you are letting it into your life and it takes up a useless spot. I suppose this concept can really go along with any "Idol". Such as pro sports players, musicians, or actors. Like when people start to obsess over some one by, perchasing all their merch, and "stalking" them online to find out more about them. I really find that disturbing. No, I am not saying that I am perfect, but I try not to be overly prompt about such. Yes I admire certain musicians and people, but I can never replace them for a rediculous happiness, or short term want that i will never egt. E.G. Okay, so you went to a Justin Bieber concert, and he is all you think about, all you listen to, and his pictures decor your room. That is taking it too far. I am going to a Cody Simpson concert on May 17th, which I am pretty stoked about but he is just another person. Really, he may have some talent and has a few cute songs, but I am going just for a fun experience and I will NOT let myself turn my life over to something rediculous like that. I am not stating that EVERYONE who has these certain "idols" are truly obsessed and they take over their lives, but there is a limit needed, and ofcourse, for me at least, I feel that the Lord comes first in all things. Nothing can be put before him. I also realize that many of us, as a world, choose to love these "idols" and live by what they do that it's because they really have done something worth accomplishing and we can respect that and have them as an example to us. I supose for some examples, like MLK, Mahatma Gandhi, Alexander Graham Bell, and some musicians who who have left this world honorably, and other Religious leaders that we honor. These have truly left a mark on our history, and I feel like they can be our "heros" and we can love and respect what they have done. And I suppose some athletes, if they are really very good then YES we can look up to them. Just treating them like a God is too far and acting like they will die if their "Basketball Player" has a bad game. Now with this I am totally not trying to hate or make anyone feel bad. This is just how i percieve it. Okay so MAJOR ANNOYANCE. In seminary last week the day of the BYU vs FLORIDA game, Tanner was determined that BYU would win, and he said opening AND closing prayer. He was ALL ABOUT JIMMER. Actually MANY people we. JIMMER THIS. JIMMER THAT. I just wanted to scream at them to stop talking aboout JIMMER!!! Is he really THAT amazing? Its just a stinkin Basketball game. My goodness. So, the next day, many of the BYU-ers wore black in "mourning" of the loss of the game. I was actually relieved to say the least. Glad that most of the madnees is over. JEEESH. (And it was not only Jimmer, also many other names were thrown out) But when i started talking about my frustration and how i was glad it was over, I was totally shot down and told to shut up because i dont know what I am talking about. okay. Maybe i dont watch basketball 24/7 but I do know that when you become that crazed about something so insiginificant, and of no consequence (to us as watchers of the game) that there is going to be a problem. Because please tell me what is going to happen to your life that would be so tragic, becasue one night Jimmer Freddette didn't play his best and they lost. Okay sorry if that was harsh, I understand that many of you basketball die hards out there are probably angry and consider these MORE than games. I guess i just wouldn't put this on my top priority list. I guess a peeve I have about people liking these these "media-esque" movie stars and musicians is because in reality are just like US...only they might have some talent and Paparazzi. Speaking of pet peeves. #4. When people state the obvious to try to be funny. Like in class when the teacher asks for good news and someone raises their hand and is like "Its friday!"..or if its monday and they say "4 days til friday!!!"...do you know what i am saying? Again, not trying to hate. I guess I am just in a bad mood. ..All I am going to say fro this next note is that I am frustrated. Have I been wasting my time? I feel like I made some new friends. But there is no effort on the other end. So are we friends? MAYBE NOT. My weekend blowed. And I suppose it might have just been that I am a girl and over react about EVERYTHING, but I was just upset. I dont think it's supposed to end this way. I'm not sure it should anyway...

5 Facts:

* I make THE BEST home made Rasberry Hot Chocolate.

* The rain makes me too happi.

* I am excited to go to Rexburg

*Cheer up and dry you damp eyes, and tell me when it rains. Then I'll blend up that rainbow above you, and shoot it through your veins!

*Younger sisters are like animals....

*Country Music makes me too happi

I hope you Dance

Do you ever feel like EVERYONE is staring at you? Not just looking or glimpsing. But actually STARING. There is a difference. Its not like i feel insecure, and sometimes it is fine, but I would just like to know what they are thinking and if something is wrong with the sight they are seeing. Can you just tell me what you are thinking please? I love to tell others what i think, and i know you all apreciate it. I guess that is the other thing though. SO many people do feel "insecure" or just not comfortable with themselves so they keep it all inside. I try to show my real self as much as i can. Because WHO CARES? Sure you may be judged but really? We're not getting married! We don't have to be with that random person for eternity. If we live like everyone is watching our every move, then we are unable to have any breathing space. If you like me then great. If you don't like me, or what i do. Aweosme. I am just going to keep doing exactly that however and whenever i feel. We see SO many different people each day, and do you really think all of them are going to remeber you and be like "Oh there was this weirdo girl, i hate her, she is not normal, i have to GET her". Yeah. So by Not letting our selves be the peacock we know we are, we are cut off from what we enjoy and what we really want to fufill. So Sarah and I have THE BEST of times, becasue we can choose to NOT CARE. Yesterday we went to the park for lunch and when we were there we danced and Sarah.......well she BARKED at cars. Yes, she pretended that she was a dog. HA. I thought it was quite amusing, and many of the cars that passed by juts saw and laughed, and even one cars that was at the red light, rolled down their sons window and he was just laughing and so was the dad. By letting ourselves go, we are able to have fun, and most likely MAKE many others' days. Then Tanner, was like "Okay i can no longer associate with you". He was joking, ofcourse, but also he would do as much as even dance. What fun is that? I really just want an answer. Why consider what others will think, unless you REALLY want to impress someone, but (like getting a lady/guy) They are going to like you for YOU. Not if you go around singing and hula hooping in Wal-mart. It makes life so much easier and I love living as if the day is my last. I am not going to get any more PREACHY, because i am not going to lie to you. I find my self judging WAY too quickly. But then again. WHY? Do I know who they are? No. Do i know what they are going through? No. So let them do whatever. Better for them , i say. With this i hope you never lose you sense of wonder. You get your fill to eat. But Always keep that hunger. May you never take one single breath for granted. God forbid love ever leave you empy handed. I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean. Whenever one door closes i hope one door opens. Promise me you'll give Faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I HOPE YOU DANCE. I woke up singing this song, I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack. Loves. It really applies to anything we do, but i just looove to DANCE. Because why don't we just dance? ~Josh Turner~

So in school: In language arts we are reading The Crucible. I am sorry, maybe I would enjoy it more if...YEAH i cant think of a reason. Plus, I have an extremely hard time staying awake because my Circadium rythem kicks in. And i am SO tired. Especially since this is a play, so only some of us get parts. So, Mr. Porter, you are my FAVORITE teacher (and i am excited to go to the Cody Simpson concert with you) but when I dont have a part, plan on me having a small snooze. Everyday i have a part its AWESOME. Today i actually asked for one so i could stay awake. Apparently it didnt work, because i fell strait into slumber. Probably because my part was at the very end, and so Rachael woke me up when i was supposed to start talking. Saved by the bell. I feel cool.
Then in Psychology, we are watching The Power of One. This movie i will HIGHLY recomend. It is really well done, and an absolutely great message. But i just dont like how SAD it is. I cringe just thinking about it, and then thinking that this and WORSE is happening in our world today.
5 Great Facts
*Reese. Is my new favorite person.
*I am going to a Cadaver Lab up in Pulman, with Sarah, on Saturday
*I love meeting random people and becoming special frineds
*Chocolate Milk. Is love. And replaces Guys.
*Everyone hates Mr. Bussman, and says he is slobbery. I love him.
*Avery has been gone for 8 months!..or should i say Avery has 16 months left! Where has the time gone? I looove that boy, miss him, proud of him, grateful for his wonderful companions, and cant wait til we can jam and have photoshoots again. :)

I am going to Rexburg for part of Spring Break. I am so excited to see the fam, and check out the BYU campus!

I love the Lord, and i am so greatful for his constant reminders and love. I know he watches out for me every moment and is always helping me with my trials. I feel blessed for SO much, especially my friends. They are beyond great.

You are love. And loved. Know that ALWAYS.

"When one door is closed, don't you know that many more are opened?" ~Bob Marley.

JUST DANCE

Just the Beginning...

I find myself getting angry over the stupidest things. Probably 60 percent of the time something will just irk me soo BAD. Then i will realize how lame I am being but I still have that urge to be angry because i want that specific person to know that i am upset and try to do something about it or feel sorry for me. Is that selfish or what? Then (usually it is Gabby bugging me) she will give me this look and so i will start laughing! Then i will just get even angry because i DON'T want to be laughing. Do you know where i am getting at? But i really dislike how i become like this. It’s like a tiny cigarette fallen into a dry forest, and in seconds the whole ground and trees are up in flames. That is my anger. I wish for it to cease or at least that i could control it so it’s only a bon fire.

But wait i don’t really like Bon fires that much. They are fun with the right people but when there are weirdo’s and when the fire pit is in an empty pool with sand, i'd much rather be hot tubbing. Bon fires are for the summer, or for cuddling. Not for awkward get togethers with awkward people. But i guess if you are a visiting from Arizona and find an attractive being, the night can end very well. Which don’t get me wrong, i would take that chance any day if i were visiting from elsewhere and i find an attractive guy. But i'd just feel sorry for him, and for myself knowing it was a total waste, and that the chances of me seeing him again are slim. Yeah, so might as well just rome around in your own pond, even though you may run into the same dumb fish, there will ALWAYS be new, more colorful, yet maybe a bit slimy, and missing a fin, but they are perfect for you. Yet, i am not thinking this all the time.

I am really thinking this just to get through this junior year, so i can hurry up with next year and get to college. So many people keep telling me, just live your life, learn to love high school, take advantage of what you have now. NO. I not only WANT to leave, i really NEED to. I feel so sheltered and i want that experience of being on my own. I feel really fortunate to know the basic skills of living, i feel blessed i suppose. I was talking to a girl in class the other day, and she is leaving for school next year. She was telling me how she might not go because she can’t live without her mom. Apparently they are best friends, but not only that, her mom is like her Maid. I find it quit sad, that if you are a senior in high school and you mother is cleaning your room, choosing your outfits for school, cooks for (and you DON'T know how) and gives you ANYTHING you want, then you are about to have a MAJOR wake up call. Well i didn’t mean to go on that tangent, but i really wish the best for that girl, because she worries me much. Speaking of colleges, I know it is seems so far away, but in reality it is creepin right around the corner! Oh jeeze yes it is. I have looked into many. Many in Utah and Idaho. Not really any at all here is WA. I really want to go to BYU-I but i have also thought about Paul Mitchell in Utah (Not too serious).

Today i saw something really sad. I was walking down the hall and a guy says HI to a girl. Then the girl he was walking with says "oooh i HATE her". So the guy, just going along (acting coooooOoOOl) said i KNOW she is a *Meany*. And i think that the other girl heard. I just felt so sad. I really don’t like that i witnessed that today. Realizing, i am not the most righteous-judging person, i try to LOVE people and i can handle them even if we do not mesh well. Apparently guys are different in this situation, like this weekend a friend did not want to hang out with us if we were going to be with another guy that he "HATED". I love the quote "You cannot hate someone, until you have LOVED them first". He has NO reason to "HATE" him My goodness that is such a strong word. I can handle being with someone that i am not fond of, by just staying out of their way and just simply being nice though the circumstances.

Some guys are SO ridiculous. Yet strangely, can I say addicting? They seem to be able to say SO much but then not do a thing worth wanting. The male species tends to be PRO at this ability. Yes all guys. Except for Collin Dye. Sarah’s.....BEST FRIEND...he is by far a VERY smooth guy. But some guys are cool. Even if they forget how to carry out a conversation because a basketball game is going on. Even though they watch Scott Pilgrim and Teenage Girl Squad (and have a sticker on their car). Even though they would rather just chill. Because when we chill it’s like a freezer for RIL. Even if they forget that girls are in their present atmosphere and would like to do something exciting. So then there is more to be frustrated about. It is not a matter worth upsetting over, but when you want to do something then just DO IT. Live it up now, no matter that your leaving soon. Just let yourself have fun and live it up until that time comes. The experience is good for you. Go Crazy. You HAVE to go on and be crazy. Because Craziness is like Heaven. Thanks Jimi. When the going gets rough, just know that HE is with you always. The savior is always there listening and watching out for You. And i know for ME. I love Him dearly. And to get past the fact that not EVERYTHING in your life will be splendid and happi. That not everything in this life will be rewarding at the moment and we will NEVER be happi from collecting all material items. For me, at least Money is not going to buy me love. And we have just got to come to realization of our True selves and face the facts! Tell the truth! And be proud with what you say. Stand your ground. And just live your life to the fullest. "Love the life you live, and live the life you love" Bob Marley died from Drugs, but he was an outstanding musician and Like Jimi sent great messages throughout the world. He may not have been a great man. But he LIVED his LIFE. And he was a great man. Does that make sense. I hope it makes Sweet sense.

I don’t really know if this was a good start. I have wanted to write a blog for a while now and share my feelings with EVERYONE. Some days may be more intriguing. I hope. In closing, yesterday in while talking to Sarah, I couldn’t stop laughing. And then again today. Like i said, whether i am in an upsetting situation, or its sad...or HAPPI..i just LAUGH!..I think that Sarah and i have a talent of laughter. It is almost as if it is hiding my true feelings. Like when i totally confess something serious, like to the peak that i should break down in tears, I feel that sensation in my stomach and my lips start sputtering and i just laugh. I can only contain it with certain aspects. This just might be a great talent, because I stay so happi, when I could choose to be depressed. So. If you are reading this I probably love you. I am excited for you to be able to creep on my inner thoughts. I can assure you can expect some more intriguing writes.