now..

I havent written in a while. I think it was best, because i would start writting but then erased it. I would have regretted letting the world know certain things. But basically i have been thinking a lot about time. And how there isn't a lot. I mean, i nanny kids, so the whole time, i try to have fun, but like any job we have we are subconciously thinking "How much time left?". Maybe i am the only one, highly doubt it. But i can't believe i will be a senior. One year til freedom. And i am always talking about how i look forward to leaving and getting out of here. But i decided i really need to use my time. And use it wisely. This summer is already almost over. Just flying by. And half of my friends are headed to college. So, alothough i am dead by the end of my days, i have been trying to fit as much into my schedule. Some people don't like busy, but i love it. I feel like when i am sitting doing nothing, that i am just wasting a way. So i am always on the go. And loving it. I want to spend as much time with all the different people leaving at the end of the summer, while also having the summer adventures with the ladies. I think it is just important to not hope for the best for tomorrow. Think about now, because now is what matters most.

But with being a senior this year, there is so much to think about, college, work, and whatever comes next. Everybody is asking me what i want to do, and what my plans are. Maybe i just say "I plan ongoing to BYU-I", as my "i dont know yet". Yes i do want to go there, yet there are still so many options of which i dont want to think about til time. I just want to live it up now. I love seeing old friends and i am gong to arizona to visit friends and family for two weeks, and then hopefully try to make it up to canada for a week to see the fam.

I went to church with Travis today. I have never attended Bethel before, let alone, any church outside of my own. It was definitely a different experience. Yeah i felt welcome, and it was nice, just not what i am used to. The sermon was pretty nice as well, talking about how the rich rule over the poor, and how life will always be this way. And about what we can give to the Lord, when he already owns everything in the world. We can give service, and give ourselves to those who have less than we. God has blessed us with the riches we have, whether they are spiritual gifts or physical gifts, and he has asked us to share them with those around us. Our love and service to others, is what we can give to the Lord.

Other than crazy life in general i have just been watching my babies. I have one more very long week ahead of me and then a break. Also last thursday marked Avery's one year day. So, one more year left. I have a feeling it will be mighty quick for sure. I connected with one of his companions who just got home, and Avery became really close with him, and was sad when he left. But i will definitly be keeping in touch with him. And hopefully start writing some more.

Well..looks like i have 9 hour weeks every day this week. I think its good though. I have a fun filled baby day all day, and then chill time at night. Yesterday with the little ladies we saw deer by the pool. Crazy right? Also they are my little "Country Girls". We blasted country music while dancing and painting pictures. And they sang along. Cutest moment of my life. Gosh i love them. I love being mom. Its crazy, i know. Just call me crazy. But besides the actual nannying part. I bike almost every day as well. It is a great ride and i love riding by the river. I usually take different routes and look at all the beautiful houses. It is SO fun.

I guess that is it. It is too early. And i would start too much ambiguity.

Baby time..

I get into it too much..

I will start basic. I am happy. For the most part. Confused. Content. And absolutely Happy. I love love love nanny-ing. It is definalty a good patience lesson and great money, and very much keeping me busy. And it is not fast food. Thanks heavens. Dealing with a 9 year old, 2 year old, and 5 month old, is not the easiest but i like it. Changing diapers, making bottles, watching baby shows and swimming in the baby pool. That is what i am talking about a good time. Then my other family, 3 little girls, 8, 5, and 2. It is just fun fun FUN. They are so girly and at the two older ones are mostly independant. But i have so much fun doing their hair, having tea parties, and swimming with them. And the little one is just absolutely the epidamy of adorable. Like the little girl off of Dispicable Me...X10. I feel like such a mother. Is that right? I especially love that fact how loved i am by them. They wont let go when i have to leave, and i am actually having a good time. I love children. That is that. If i were invited to a party or asked to babysit my one favorite family, i would choose to sit. The one girl is 8 and one of my best friends. For real. And the little 11 month old is so much fun. Okay maybe i am being overload and sound fluffy, but i love it. I cant wait for my own.
My 4th of July was spent well. Again, i hung out with noone my age. All under the age of 12. But i had a blast. Swimming and Jet skiing with the little ones was a blast, minus the fact that Kadee claims she swallowed a fish so would not tube anymore and just wanted to ride. She has quite the appetite. I also learned that, again with little children, they get jealous easily. I was with them at the pool, then the other girls i babysit came. All of them wanted to be with me. Wanted me to hold them and throw them in. So. I had like 5 kids. Yay. But i like it.
But i decided that i love little children because normal people my age can be annoying. Like when you have a party. Some guys came. YAY. For 5 minutes. Then left without saying a word. Lower than low? Yes. I hadnt seen them in like 5 months. We were talking having a good time then boom. Ok? So us ladies decided that Poo mountain is better. We screamed our feelings. Climbed barefoot in the sand. Drank away the pain. With orange juice. And totally decided they are less than worth it. Hmm..yeah. And yesterday for Sarahs birthday we gossipped about guys. Is that the right word? Maybe not. Maybe it was confession. Maybe talk. Watching Aquamarine gave us a grand understanding that Ben & Jerry are the only real men in this world. So we made a video in yokes and the guy that told us to be quiet or leave was really legit. Of course we were insane but found the ice cream. And downed four cartons like no other and laughing. Which brings me to the conclusion of why i was in a barfing and not in a conscious state last night. I probably wont do that again. But it felt good before. And yesterday was yet another adventure. We went to Top of the World--the mountain where people go---and we watched She's the Man. And danced. And laughed. And ate cup cakes. Then some guy came up on his truck and told us to move. Seems to be a usual for us. Then he attempted flirting with us and telling us about the snake where we just were and how he ran it over. Not impressed. I had actually never been up there before. But i have been told about it. It was almost a better sight of the Tri than badger. It was absolutely beautiful. We saw even more fire works, and even more people came up. Its the place.
I can't believe it. On July 21, Avery will have been out a year. This is insane. I feel like just yesterday i was saying goodbye to him. And in one year i will be able to say hello again. And we will both be headed to college. eeee. I love that boy so much. I love the letters and love finding out about his new comps. Yay.

A while ago my dad told me that he was seeing an acupuncturist. I was like 'what the heck no way'? He asked if i wanted to go. Finally i am actually going. Appointment made. I hope it will help. I love natural medicine. I love that my dad is a Chiropractor and can heal me so well. Even if it means healthy healthy healthy.

So what this past week has come down to has been difficult. I was asked something i never though i would be asked. Well, i guess of course i would. I have considered it but it is just for other people. But, Travis asked about my religion. He had been doing much research of his own. I talked with him and Aaron about this issue, of our difference in faiths and how they have found contradictions. Of course, with them being great guys, and friends which i wish not to lose, i am willing to listen to what they have to say. Yes, it has been hard. I want to kick it to the back burner, but with this, Religion is key. I do not want to give it a rest yet, however i need to gather my thoughts to help me and them with our points of view. I have been praying a lot. And i talked with Ave, and some other people. I am grateful for their intentions, yet i have much to consider and tell them still. I don't quite know where i am going. I need time. That is that i suppose. I am just shocked, maybe not the right word.

I hope to clear things up with my other friend. Things have been strange.

J.J. and his band played tonight for Live at 5. I won't be modest. And i am not being bias because he is my brother, J.J. is one heck of a guitarist. I suppose when you play non stop for 7 years, you might get good. He is extremely talented and he has been working on his vocals for the past few months, and tonight was the first i had heard it. I loved it. They covered some nice classic rock, then did some orginals as well. I was pleased, and will be going to see them at Rays, next thursday. Its fun business.

I guess that IS that. i dont know much right now. i am too busy for being bored. that is nice...